Dang It

October 24, 2008 at 5:49 pm | Posted in devil, fantasy, kiwi people, language, new stuff, orange, procrastination, random things, slacker, stories, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dang. I am the craziest person in the known universe. I started another story. ANOTHER STORY!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it??? That just adds to the gigantic stack of stories that are not finished! I HATE MY IMAGINATION!!!

Not really. But still. I think my imagination is in overdrive recently. I’ve been spaced all week.

Chapter Two

April 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm | Posted in art, clay, colors, commands, devil, dragons, fantasy, friends, new stuff, orange, pie, random things, reading, stories, wings | 5 Comments

Malveillant whispered to Hilare in a dark corner. Hilare’s eyes grew wide with amazement as she listened to Malveillant’s words. She whispered something back, and Malveillant nodded. His claw drew a pattern in the dirt, and Hilare studied it. She added her own small shape and Malveillant’s eyebrows raised. It was clear that he was impressed with her idea. He then said something firmly to her, then flew back to his place on the shelf. Hilare glided to hers, and Terreo walked over. “What was that all about?” He asked. Hilare could feel Malveillant’s eyes on her back, and she answered a bit nervously, “Nothing.” Terreo narrowed his eyes, but said no more. Hilare was glad. Malveillant had made her promise to tell no one as of now of the plans. She couldn’t believe that Liza had planned on keeping the dragons confined in small glass containers. Display cases, Malveillant had called them. She knew that they had to keep their connection with the other dragons, and she was willing to do anything to keep it. Malveillant’s plan sounded best and simplest.

Malveillant fought to keep a smile off his face as he watched Hilare deny that anything important had been said between the two of them. Of course, what had been said was critical to the dragons. Not that it was true. Oh no, it was most definitely not true. He had known he would have to lie, but that was the easy part. He was an expert liar. And Hilare’s idea made everything so much easier, he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of it before. He only needed to have Hilare tell Ferinse The Liza Scenario, and all the dragons would know within an hour. And, of course, He needed one other dragon in on his plan. Maybe Reussi, The Successful. Or Martiale, The Strong. No, he’d best go with Xeres. He had often seen Xeres in the shadows, with that glint in his eye that Malveillant knew too well.

He stared at Xeres until he had his attention. They held their gaze until Xeres stood up. Malveillant gave a half-smile. Xeres knew what he wanted. He tossed his head, indicating Xeres to follow, and walked back over to his drawing.

Xeres knew Malveillant too well. Days of watching and observing brought great knowledge to oneself. he also knew why Malveillant had been talking to Hilare, The Innocent. She would be a perfect subject of the lies in a plan. He swooped over the other sixteen dragons and landed neatly in front of the drawing, folding his royal blue wings back. “So,” he said flatly, disguising his excitement well. “What do you want me to do?”

Malveillant was yet again impressed. Xeres knew exactly why he was called, to be part of the plan. He once again outlined the same lies he had fed Hilare. He was very surprised when Xeres responded with the word “Bullcrap.”

“Excuse me?” Malveillant said.

“Bullcrap. You know that it is. So who is Hilare going to tell Ferinse told her all of that?”

Malveillant was shocked. Not only had Xeres known he was lying, he had guessed a major part of the plan. He had no choice but to tell the whole plan to Xeres.

When he had finished, Xeres nodded and said, “Good. I say you tell her to tell Fice that I told her that crap. Fice is more likely to believe that than if she says you told her.”

“Very true.” With a short nod, Malveillant sent Xeres for Hilare. And after a few minutes, he sent Hilare off. Again, he watched with satisfaction as the white dragon spoke Xeres’s name instead of his. His perfect plan was almost complete. Soon all the dragons would be helping him return to power, all because they were frantic about getting out before they were put into display cases. Display cases! Ha! If any of them had an ounce of sense they would realize that they were all capable of breaking the thin glass easily.
But this was better, because soon, he would be Malveillant the Malicious again! He would make Liza realize that she was taking life out of real dragons and putting it into small clay figurines. She was taking whatever powers they had and giving it to something small and without any authority over anything. Gone were their acquaintances, gone their reputations. He would change that, once and for all. He would go back to his happy life of friendly terrorizing and little stealing. It would all be good.

And across the room, Xeres stood, watching, thinking of his old life and what he would give to have it back.

More PK News with guest star!

March 2, 2008 at 4:34 pm | Posted in bugs, devil, kiwi, language, news, orange, pie, random things | 4 Comments

Welcome back people! We have a special guest today, as Promised!

AND NOW, SAY HELLO TO OUR GUEST, DEVIL BUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

db

Okay, so we’ve got Devil Bug on the line today! Since no one is quite sure what species or gender Devil Bug is, Devil Bug will Simply be referred to as Devil Bug. For your personal safety Pi and I have replaced anything DevilBug says with various symbols such as ?!@#$%^&*+- and so on.

Now for the interview!

Say hello to all your fans, Devil Bug!

“@#%*&.”

Case in point.

Now, Tell us how you came to be a resident in Pi’s home.

“! @5% 1! %(#@^%@! &(*%$^ #$7^ $ %##$ %&6 $## ^& %$@#% ^? !&% #(*^ ( *&$^@ <~ @*%^ >+ *%@@^$ &#!%#)( ?=- *%@&# 9# $**# !&% >?%.”

Very nice.

Translation: I was in someone’s locker when I fell out and Pi found me.

Of course, we have edited Devil Bug’s original words because of Devil Bug’s language use, so no need to worry.

Really.

This concludes our interview for today! Return for more sometime in the near future! “!#$^%*!.”

PK News

February 16, 2008 at 5:35 pm | Posted in bugs, devil, guest, kiwi, news, people, pie, random things | 2 Comments

Hello again, folks! I’m here reporting not-so-live from Grandma’s house with my cousin, Pi! (by the way, it is pronounced ‘pie,’ not ‘pee.’(Ki is pronounced ‘kee,’ not ‘kie.’)) We have a special guest star who is coming to my and Pi’s blogs soon. His name is….(drum roll, please)…….DEVIL BUG!!! Devil Bug will be coming first to Pi’s blog then to mine. I sadly regret this fact, though it must be, for Pi owns Devil Bug.

On to more reports. Pi is holding her little sister The Baby and was very recently watching Grandpa open an unknown object. The Baby is now over by the kitchen table chasing a car. And no, The Baby is not a dog. The car is a toy car.

Pi is still in her computer chair next to me, staring transfixed at the electric slideshow screen. Oops, she got up and put her gameboy somewhere.

This is the end of today’s PK News report, people! Return same time someday in the next two weeks or less! We are over and out, people!

Yup.

January 7, 2008 at 8:57 pm | Posted in devil, guest, names, not me, people, random things, siblings, stolen passwords | 1 Comment

Yup. That was Bob, NOT me. Hmfp.

Seriously. That wasn’t me. Really!

Good morning, sunshine!

January 6, 2008 at 9:11 pm | Posted in devil, guest, names, not me, people, photography, random things, schedule, siblings, sleep, stolen passwords | Leave a comment

Good evening, people! (how ironic.) It’s nice to speak to y’all. This is Ki’s sister, by the way. I like to go by Wi. (Not in actuality. My name is Bob Frankenstein and my favorite food is cheese souffle. (actually it’s pizza. (actually it’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (actually it’s eggnog. (actually it’s macaroni and cheese. (actually, it’s spaghetti with alfredo sauce. (that time i was telling the truth.))))))) Por favor, don’t tell Ki that i’m writing this. it’s a secret. do you want to know what happened today in Ki’s life? I will give you an update. First, Ki woke up 10 minutes before we had to go to church. Then, Ki went to church. Then, Ki came home. Then, Ki ate tacos. Then, Ki “did homework.” Then, Ki played Uno Attack. Then, Ki played Sorry. Then, Ki fought over the dog. Then, Ki went outside with the dog. Then, Ki came inside. Now Ki is laying on the couch.

How boring.

Since Ki’s life today is sooo boring, I shall tell you about my, Bob Frankenstein’s, life today. First, Bob Frankenstein woke up 10 minutes before we had to go to church. Then, Bob Frankenstein went to church. Then, Bob Frankenstein came home. Then, Bob Frankenstein ate tacos. Then, Bob Frankenstein “did homework.” Then, Bob Frankenstein played Uno Attack. Then, Bob Frankenstein played Sorry. Then, Bob Frankenstein fought over the dog. Then, Bob Frankenstein went outside with the dog. Then, Bob Frankenstein came inside. Now Bob Frankenstein is laying on the couch.

Now that’s excitement.

Would you like to see a picture of me? Well I would, so here you go.

kelsey-swimming.jpg

Well, now is the time for the real doing of homework. icky. i hate homework. too bad. Thanks for listening, folks! Adios. Hasta luego. Au revoir. Salut. Salud.(that is the equivalent of bless you in espanol, by the way.) Okay, goodnight.

ps. sorry for being so random.

pps. even though it was fun.

ppps. maybe i should stop while i’m ahead.

pppps. even though i’m behind.

ppppps. you’re probably bored of this already.

pppppps. a long time ago.

ppppppps. goodbye.

pppppppps.  leave already!

ppppppppps. sorry that you hate me now.

pppppppppps. anyways, i’ll shut up so you can concentrate on whatever you’re doing.

JUST KIDDING!

just kidding about the just kidding. goodbye!

Guess what? No, I said GUESS!

January 5, 2008 at 5:29 am | Posted in bugs, commands, deleting, devil, food, friends, kiwi, names, noises, random things, sleep, testing | Leave a comment

Hey, I did say guess. But anyway, I did okay on my SRIs today. SRIs are computer reading tests, by the way. It wasn’t exactly fun, but afterwards I did get to draw a really awesome picture.

Okay, so a few weeks ago my friend whom I shall call Noodle, my best friend who wants me to call her Barbie for some strange, unknown reason, and I were talking about what would happen if you named a dog Sit.

Learning tricks: “Roll over, Sit! No! Don’t sit! I said roll over! Very good. Now, stand up, Sit! No! Stand up, Sit! No!” and so on.

Outside: “Come, Sit! Sit! SIT! Aaaahhhh! COME, SIT! LOOK OUT FOR THE CAR, SIT!”

Inside: “Sit, Sit! Good. Now, come, Sit! No! NO! COME, Sit! AAAAAAHHHHH! NO!!! Carpet no toilet paper!!!!!”

Then Noodle said, “You would probably have to teach the dog how to sit by renaming the command ‘contact’ or ‘bottom.’”

My cousin Pi makes dragons. Hey, guess what? Guess! No really. So do I! Mine are a lot bigger than hers, and quote Pi: “their tails are super thin and constantly have to be repaired with super glue.” Well, that was before. now the tails are a bit thicker and don’t break nearly as often, which IS a good thing. Now I don’t use even close to the amount of glue that I used to. We both sell them, too. She sells them for $3.50, and I sell them for $2.00. Pi’s are a bit pricey, if you ask me. No offense, Pi. You will probably make more money than me anyway, depending on how many you sell and how many I do.

Anyway, there will hopefully be pictures of my dragons tomorrow, and of Pi’s the next. You shall see!!!           (So shall I, apparently.)

I want to go shopping tomorrow. But not just any shopping, my friends! I know exactly what I want and I probably know where to get it! What a surprise. I’ll tell you tomorrow, but untill then you have to wait in suspenseful waiting! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Urg. That ‘Hello, world!’ “post” is still there. PLEASE, somebody tell me how to delete it! I must know! I will die young if I do not delete it!!!

Not really.

Still, it does bug me. I’ll figure it out. Someday.

‘Howdy, dragonstars.’ is still there too. Why in the world does it say ‘howdy?’ Why can’t it say ‘hi’ or ‘welcome’ or even ‘yo?’

Arg. Urgh. Bleh. AAHH! Oh, you’re still here? I guess I’d better say something about something instead of boring you to death by making strange noises by myself for fun. Oh, no! I’M ALL OUT OF THINGS TO SAY!!!

I guess that means I should end this post. This one was pretty long, wasn’t it? Longest I’ve ever written. Of course. So. Oh, gosh! Why is it always hard to end posts?! Here, I’ll make it quick: seeya tomorrow!

Wasn’t that wonderfully short?

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